whoever wrote this line needs to receive a medal
I will reblog this until my fingers bleed
Seth Myers wrote that line, that’s why he’s smiling.
mom can i borrow $100,000 please i’ll give u it back when im rich and famous
me as a parent
people who randomly decide to compliment you are so important
can someone invent a candle that smells like a blown out candle
last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.
I guess my mum thinks I’m constantly on Google’s start page
i love them omg
And finally someone said it
nobody’s fucking stopping you from putting on some foundation dude you can put it on and it’s discrete and other straight guys won’t be able to tell and it does wonders. nobody’s stopping you from moisturizing or even putting on the lightest bits of concealer. don’t worry, other straight men can’t tell
Also there’s less pressure for men to be attractive and more pressure on women to see past men’s looks for their personalities, like look how many movies star average/ugly dudes who still score modelesque girls.
step 1: create unrealistic, unattainable standards of beauty for women
step 2: build a multi-billion dollar beauty industry to sell women makeup, tell them they are worthless without it
step 3: mock and vilify women who wear makeup as vain and fake, mock and vilify women who don’t wear makeup as ugly
step 4: code makeup as exclusively feminine, make the feminine shameful, shame any and all men perceived as feminine
step 5: complain that you can’t wear makeup
all that commentary
i’ve been laughing at this straight for 5 minutes i’m not even kidding.
are u in love with me? no?? *slides u a chocolate pudding* how about now?